I haven't been on since last year!!
I love those cheesy jokes, telling my mom I'll see her next year on December 31st and then the next time I see her I say "gosh, I haven't seen you since last year"
It's so cheesy but Idc, I love it.
Anyway I wanted to make a quick post to say, do you ever stop checking their breathing?
Luke is a little over three months old and I check his breathing a million times a day. Lol
I definitely do it less than I use to but it's still a million in comparison to the 2 million times before.
It's so funny because I'll stare at him sometimes instead of touching him to check, and his breaths are so shallow! You have to stare hard to see it. But I'll stare so hard and focus so hard on the chest that I'll see his finger twitch and it's like that isn't enough. Lol I still wait for the breath. Totally dumb. But I was watching for the breath and didn't think about the finger twitch. Haha
It drives me crazy. As a new mom I'm scared constantly of some unknown random awful thing happening to him. It's comforting to have him close.
My husband's birthday is coming soon and then immediately after we have our wedding anniversary and Valentine's Day.
And we have never left Luke to go out. I've never been away from him at all. I've taken a shower or two and a nap for like an hour while he was with dad in the living room, but never left him with anyone.
So I was thinking for our anniversary I would plan to go to dinner with Andre. Not be gone long because I'm sure I wouldn't be able to take it and Luke would be about 4 and a half months old. But it's still super terrifying to think about.
He had a tongue tie and we got that clipped recently, it was causing some problems. Luke is exclusively breast fed. But when I've tried to pump and give him a bottle he can't suck on a bottle so this tongue tie business has been difficult but it should be better.
I haven't tried a bottle yet but if he can take the bottle then I'll make sure he's good at it before I ever try to leave him with anyone. And if he isn't then I'll take him out with us. It doesn't bother me at all to have him go out with us. I just thought it might seem nice to go out alone.
But it terrifies me to my core.
Not only am I worried about something happening to him but what if whoever keeps him doesn't abide by my wishes or if something bad happens while he is with them.
I'm sure these are what all moms think the first time they leave them and I know it's even harder for moms that work. I bow down to those ladies. I just can't imagine leaving him.
I would definitely let him stay with one of our moms the first time. And they all have three to four kids but I still know that I do things with Luke that they don't and it makes me worry. He also never stays asleep for a nap when I'm not with him so that is just another thing that worries me about him staying with someone else.
Anyway I guess I can stop talking about my worry woes. It's just the little things that keep rolling around in my head.
We will see what happens.
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