Since I was pregnant I knew I had to come to terms with knowing that I was going to experience this. I wanted to be as prepared as possible.
My mother had 3 girls, all natural, and no pain meds. If she could do it, I could too. I've always had a high pain tolerance.
It wasn't my goal to not have any pain meds but if I was going to get anything I just wanted some IV meds to take the edge off. No epidural or anything serious like that.
There were a few things I knew I definitely wanted and a few I absolutely wanted. I went in with the mindset that things change and labor is very situational. I knew that there was a possibility that some things wouldn't go my way but I still had a plan.
My major goal was a water birth, or at the very least laboring in the water for as much as possible. I wanted to be able to walk around and I didn't want to deliver on my back. There is countless info on the internet with the benefits of water birthing and delivering in a squatting position or almost anything but laying down.
I did NOT want to be strapped to a bed, I did NOT want an epidural, Episiotomy was absolutely a no.
I wanted to tear naturally if that was going to happen or have a C-section, but absolutely did NOT want an episiotomy.
Well at my 40 week appointment, Luke still hadn't made an appearance. I was about 50% effaced and dilated 2cm. This was exciting news because you think well...in a few days I could have a baby. Things are changing, so I immediately started doing everything anyone ever tells you to do to naturally induce labor. I stayed up in the house standing a lot, cleaning and walking. I did some stretching like splits and squats, I had sex. We power walked at the park a few times, and because Andre worked at nights when he would get home we would go to Walmart and power walk around the store for an hour or two. We did this many nights in a row. I took lots of baths, but baths were one of the only things through out my entire pregnancy that relaxed me anyway.
I desperately tried a labor cocktail. My doctor assured me that 85% of her patients ALWAYS go into labor within 24 hours. It consisted of Apricot juice, peanut butter, a cup of champagne, and a little castor oil.
The labor cocktail story is quite a funny story all on it's own. I'll write a post about it and link it to this one later.
But none of these things worked.
My doctor didn't want me to go past 41 weeks because near the end of pregnancy the placenta starts to die and it won't nourish the baby anymore the way its suppose to, and also your baby grows a LOT more in those last few weeks. You don't want the baby to get too large or you will have more risks during delivery and possibly a c-section.
And in the last week of my pregnancy I got HUGE!! I could barely wear ANY clothes.
My feet were swollen for the entire 3rd trimester but they were SO bad that I couldn't wear flip flops or my bedroom shoes. I was just barefoot all the time. And I had 1 pair of sweats I could wear. I wore a lot of dresses, and it was perfect because I was in the third trimester during the summer and I could wear cute Maxi dresses. They were easy and not a lot of pressure on my body and most importantly COOL!
So at the end of your pregnancy you start going to the doctor weekly and then twice a week, the doctor decided to give us up to 7 more days at our last appointment and gave us an option to pick what day we wanted to be induced if he didn't come on his own before then. So we chose exactly in the middle. 4 days later. September 24th. It was my original due date, they changed it early on from the 24th to the 20th but I always knew the 24th was closer to the correct date.
Every doctor chooses a different way to determine it. Some go off of the day you got pregnant, if you know, and some go from your last menstrual cycle. It's also very common for first baby's to go over the due date and just about everyone in my family's first baby came later. I came 2 days after my due date.
Anyway....talk about being crazy nervous for 4 days. I still really wanted him to come on his one of course and I had false labor many times (almost forgot about that)
The first night I had false labor it was in the middle of the night. I experienced braxton hicks for the entire third trimester, many times, every single day so I knew what those felt like. I started cramping badly and went to get in the bathtub because they tell you not to get nervous and to relax and don't go to the hospital til the contractions are close and blah blah...Well they stopped after about 45 minutes and they got as close as 5 minutes and they were the strongest contractions I had had during my entire pregnancy but nothing like the real thing *now I know.
I was super sweaty, and if you are sweating in the shower or bath, it's super uncomfortable. You just don't feel clean.
I went back to bed with the hopes to wake up in labor but nothing....false labor. This happened like three days in a row and I was fed up.
Every time this would happen I would get so excited thinking it was the beginning of the real thing, only to be disappointed. You feel like the baby is never going to come out. It was like the boy who cried wolf or something and I was so disappointed. I don't remember the specific details anymore of the false labor incidents, I intended to blog about them later.
I highly suggest documenting your pregnancy if its important to you, DURING your pregnancy. You have a lot more free time before baby than you will ever have after and you will NOT remember all those tiny details. Your brain takes in so much after the baby comes that tons of those memories, sadly, fade.
Anyway, the plan was to go to the hospital at 5:30 in the morning and they were going to put a pill inside that softens your cervix. If my cervix finished softening all the way the baby would work down more and we'd most likely be in business, to have a baby. We were going to try this pill and wait three hours and if it didn't work try again and then on the second time if nothing had changed we would begin pitocin.
I had heard and read many horror stories about pitocin and wanted to avoid it as much as possible! And even still and since I have experienced it first hand, I will tell you...you have to do what you have to do if it comes down to it BUT if you can avoid it...do. it's a crappy drug!
But the most important thing was having a healthy baby, healthy mommy, and then comfort with the labor and delivery.
Well....when we got to the hospital, the nurse informs me that the pill isn't a process the like to do in the morning or day time, they usually only do that during night times. She would like to just start pitocin and see how my body progressed with that.
Pitocin is a fast acting drug and makes the labor go quick where as the pill was a much more relaxed process.
This kinda irritated me because we would've chose a different time to go to the hospital if we had known any of this and the doctor had pretty much told us and prepared us for a different process, but we were there to have a baby and it was time...
that was the first thing that seemed to not go according to plan.
I informed the nurses that I would like a water birth and to at least labor in the water as much as possible and that an epidural wasn't an option, I didn't even want to sign the form.
I hate needles. I hate all the side effects I've heard, the only way I wanted an epidural was if it was necessary with an emergency c-section.
My nurse informed me that she just had people go ahead and sign the document incase an emergency c-section happens and just incase I change my mind (I knew I would not...).
That was no big deal to me, but what did kinda piss me off was the look the 2 nurses gave me when I said I wanted to avoid an epidural at all costs. I was open to other medications, I wanted to play it by ear. But epidurals just aren't my kinda thing.
They both looked at each other and kinda rolled their eyes and it was just a whole moment that was ridiculous. Everyone was acting like...you should get one and go ahead and let us prepare for it and it was super ridiculous.
I also know that lots of nurses don't like when someone comes in with a birth plan, they act like anyone that has one is guaranteed to have a c-section and its just a waste of time and makes their job harder.
Well like I said before, I did plenty of research so I wrote one out at home with lots of different options and scenarios and I talked about it with Andre.
We talked about it many times and early in the pregnancy too because I just wanted him to know...Look, during the end of my pregnancy and when in labor, I may just be fed up and so exhausted and I may resort to things I REALLY don't want, so remind me, and if I'm loopy...take charge for me. These are my wishes....
So I didn't go in the hospital with ridiculous demands, I just wanted to relax and try to keep myself distracted and I didn't want to be stuck in the bed at ANY cost!! I didn't take a birthing plan to the hospital at all.
I believe 100% that gravity helps work that baby down!!!
I just wanted more support from the nurses about my wish to not have an epidural and I didn't feel like they backed me on that. And I had only just got to the hospital as a nervous, first time, mother to be and things were already looking gloom.
However, I'm not complaining about the nurses...they were great. That whole thing just sucked.
Anyway, so after getting into my room I couldn't believe I was about to have a baby soon! My husband, mother, sister, grandmother, and aunt were there with us first thing in the morning.
The nurse got my IV set up and it hurt like a B word. It was one of the most uncomfortable things.
Her sticking me with the needle didn't hurt, it was all the plastic contraptions and tape that was stuck to my arm. It wasn't an iv on top of my hand, it kinds came out of my wrist...sucked big time.
I could not wait for the baby to be out so they could take that damn IV out of my arm!!!
Seems so small to some, probably...but I hated it!
Doesn't it look super uncomfortable? The tape prob made the whole thing so bad.
They wanted to bring me a breakfast and then start the pitocin.
Hospital food is alright..its not the best thing in the world and it's also not the worst.
One of my favorite things about my stay at the hospital was that they brought me food.
I needed it, but I think I wouldn't have had time to even think about food if I was left accountable for getting my own food.
I didn't eat much. The night before I was too anxious and I got NO sleep. My stomach was weird, I was nervous and anxious and excited. I took about a 4 hour nap the day before, woke up at 7pm and had to go to the hospital at 5:30 am.
This has always been a thing for me...my entire life. I've never had the "good nights sleep" before something happens. Even if it's not super serious, I'm always too anxious to sleep.
I didn't sleep before high school graduation, first day of college, any auditions I ever had, job interviews, other people's weddings....anything like this...I don't sleep.
I have a problem. lol
Moving on....
I take pain very well. I always dwell on it later. Having never experienced labor before I went in expecting it to be the worst thing ever. I figured it would be like the worst period cramps ever and those awful stomach pains you have when you have to go to the bathroom really bad, but much worse.
It was SO EXTREMELY important to me to remember what labor pains felt like because I really want to be able to describe it to someone else. Before baby, I feel like it's some kind of unwritten code that a woman never actually writes down or can tell you what labor pains really feel like. People just say "its so bad I can't remember, or the worst pains you've ever had, or unimaginable" and things like that. I was DETERMINED to be able to come out of this and explain it to someone. *I'm going to come back to this topic many times through out this story telling because I was very passionate about it. I decided that it must be so bad but "worth it" but noone wants to tell you because they don't want to scare you. Well I'm honest so if anyone ever asked, I was going to be ready.
I packed a sudoku book, had a few e books and movies on my phone, and took my computer in case I wanted to watch movies or Hulu on it. I also made index cards with affirmations (*I will probably write a post about this in the future too)
I wrote down my favorite bible verses and my wishes.
It was important to me to have a reminder for myself when I was in that serious pain stage to let me know that I could make it through. I mentally prepared myself for weeks, especially the last two. Just to make it through each contraction and know that every one brings you closer to baby and every single time a child is born a woman goes through this. For all of history. and there are SO many people in the world..not to give up..I could definitely do it. I'm strong. Other's have made it through the pain and I know I'm stronger than some of those people. And to not focus on all the negative because that makes it worse and remember this is very exciting and such an amazing gift. At the end of all the hard work I'm going to finally see my sweet baby's face.
I got myself very prepared for it.
Like I said before, I expected things to change and maybe not go according to my plan, but in the end...the only thing I got from it that I wanted was a healthy baby, mommy, and vaginal delivery. Just about every thing else went out the window.
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