So it's 5:33 am as I am beginning to write this. I've been up most of the night.
I take naps with my son during the day because he sleeps lightly then, and if I try to do stuff while he is napping he wakes up. Night time is the only time when he is asleep and I can surf the web and read and plan things.
Tonight, I did a little research on Zumba and some basic exercises that I'm going to try to start doing and I just did some general looking around pinterest.
So for now I just wanted to make a quick post about how difficult it is as a new mom to do anything. Especially my hair.
I take baths with my baby because it's easier, and honestly the only way to ensure that I actually get clean as well. I can sneak to shower when he's asleep in the morning, but why? I want to sleep then too.
If I take a shower any other time of day, like while his dad watches him, he just seems to get upset at some point and I'm rushed when I get out to dry off and get dressed. And getting dressed while you are semi wet is awful!!!
Of course, it has been a while since I have tried to leave him with someone while I shower, so things may have changed but it's doubtful.
But back to the main point, throughout my pregnancy my hair got pretty long but I hated the color and my ends were bad..... looking back in retrospect I should have just trimmed it because it was kinda nice from the pics I see, but I still wanted something else, so I got a semi short hair cut, a bob...a couple of weeks before he came and I loved it. Although short hair does require more attention from me. And I knew this....but I didn't seem to understand that I would really have absolutely NO free time once he came.
When it's long I can braid it, put it up, throw mousse in it when it's wet and wear it curly...but shorter is a little more difficult. I don't know why I thought it would be easier......ugh
and now I hate it.
I've worn it in half pony tails for the last few days and it's at that awards length, so half of it always falls out.
And they always tell you you're going to lose hair after baby and it literally took three months before that started from me, But I have been losing SO much hair the last few days.
And what drives me crazy more than anything is all the little hairs that get everywhere....mostly all over Luke.
He constantly has my hair in his hands...a strand here or there....it'll be in his neck rolls. (haha, he's chunky) and I've found a few in his diaper.
I check often because it worries me, so I know it shouldn't happen, but I'm worried about a hair getting wrapped around something and cutting off circulation. Like a finger or his private areas....I say this because I know someone who it happened to. (and that's probably why I'm so paranoid by it)
And I check him constantly and he always has a hair somewhere on his body....ugh
I do hair so I shouldn't be bothered by it....maybe...I just find it rather disgusting.
anyway!! I'll stop ranting about it....it just makes me crazy. I swear if my hair was long I would braid it after washing it and keep it in a braid until I shower again.
Until we get to a spot where things are a little bit better(easier)...and they do get better every day....I would just rather not deal with this mop.
I want something new, but I'm just thinking I'll keep waiting until later. I've never really waited much, when it comes to my hair. If I get the idea I want something new I usually change my hair in a day or two...so here's to growing it out and not coloring it for a while....even though I only colored it once while pregnant. Once in a year is a huge difference for me. lol.
I don't know if I'll stick to this, but maybe I'll ponder not changing my hair until I'm into a good workout routine and I can see a difference in my body.
I immediately lost an amazing bit of weight after I had the baby and I felt good about my body. But only for about a week. I hate how my stomach looks....the stretch marks more than anything bothered me for the last 3 months but now they are finally fading into my skin color and aren't so red or purple anymore.
I didn't have unrealistic expectations with having a baby. I knew my body wouldn't look amazing, and I knew I would have stretch marks....but it has affected me way worse than I thought it would.
After Luke was born my stomach felt so strange. It was like an alien. And after you have a baby, while in the hospital, a couple of times each day, they come in and bury their hand in your tummy to move stuff around and feel to make sure everything is going back where it should, and it is the most god awful thing ever. It's uncomfortable but more than that...if it hasn't ever happened to you...when it does...don't look. It looks so bad. Their hand is pushing down on your tummy and your skin is just all around it like it's swallowing their arm...and they are...like churning butter with your tummy or something...its disgusting.
This really messed me up. I didn't touch my stomach at ALL for at least 5 weeks after he was born.
I let water run over it in the shower and I think maybe one or twice I washed over it lightly with a rag but it felt so weird I just couldn't. I don't know what I expected but it felt so strange. And I hated looking at it in the mirror.
I had a small bit of belly and it was still semi firm for a couple of weeks...you kinda look like you're pregnant in the early weeks...but after that changed I know have that weird saggy bit. And it's really not that bad on me.
I've seen SO many people who really do have it bad. But it bothers me. I was going to wear girdles and stuff after I had him. I read so much while I was pregnant about the benefits and how most women in other countries do wrap their tummies after having a baby. But mine felt so weird to me that I just couldn't do it.
I did wear tight....well maybe not tight, but fitted pants and underwear...and the pants that have a belly band for a long time after having the baby. That helped keep it firm, but I didn't do it the way I planned to.
**I'm totally fine with touching it now and it's been three months since he was born.
Three months sounds like a long time but it really goes by super quick!!
Anyway I guess I'll go now. So much for a short post.
Did I mention I hate my hair right now? Ugh....totally hate it!!
Hopefully when I come back and write more I will have attempted to do some working out.
Goals to be a hot mom!!!!
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