New hobby, Painting

I'm starting to think I should just start all of my posts' with, "So I discovered on Pinterest...."
Lol

But really, a couple of weeks ago, I stumbled upon a tutorial and it sent me to Youtube, where I spent a couple of hours looking at video tutorials (like you do)
I've always wanted to go to one of those Wine & Paint places, but it can be a little bit pricey for someone on a budget, and since I still have never left my son alone with anyone, I don't think it will happen anytime soon.
Something you will come to know about me is, if I'm interested in something and I think I can make it, especially if it's something expensive, I will try my hardest to do it. I feel like I have gained a lot of life skills because I wanted to do it myself and save money.
So I decided to talk to my family and see if they wanted to have a DIY paint party. I found a couple of tutorials that were easy enough for beginners and we all picked one we were interested in and made plans to meet and have a party. We had a potluck and bought some cheap canvases, paint brushes, and craft paint, and had a paint party. It was pretty great. We all spent less than $10 which was amazing considering the Paint night classes average about $40 and you have to bring your own wine. And all of our children were able to play and be comfortable at their Mimi's house.

A few things happened when I found a tutorial that I liked for us. First, I discovered that most videos on youtube that say they are a painting tutorial, are NOT. They are a mostly a demonstration. Lots are time lapsed videos where you watch someone paint, they don't explain anything, and I really think they shouldn't call them tutorials, because it's more like entertainment. But I did find a few that were actually tutorials and I discovered this delightful woman named Cinnamon Cooney, she's known as The Art Sherpa (that's what her youtube channel is called). She has very basic to pretty time intense tutorials, and she really helps people who probably have no artistic ability, be able to paint and feel good about themselves.
I love that she is very bubbly, she has a spirited personality, full of charisma, and she really breaks it all down for you. Plus she has colorful hair, and I've had just about every color myself so you know I love that!!
I've learned so much in the last few weeks from watching her videos, art wise and in just being a generally nice, happy person. Art does that for you and sometimes you need people to show you the door that art can lead you into a different world.
I've always loved crafting. I dabble in just about everything that falls under crafting categories, and if anyone were to ever ask me if I'm an artist I would tell them, I doodle. I'm not a good drawer but I love to do lots of things that are art related.
Cinnamon has really expressed that not all things in art mean that you have to be a good drawer and it took her saying that to me, after me believing for so many years that I wasn't an artist to know that I am one. Just because I'm not the best animator or drawer doesn't mean I don't have skills in so many other branches of art.
I've painted along with a few of her tutorials and I started a journey that she has called Big Art Quest. You can find out more info by going to her page. But it's basically an art journey that she's planning to last about a year, and I came into it about half way through, but with youtube it's easy to start and get caught up. Anyway I've only done the first quest so far but I already feel like by the end of this quest I'm going to have grown so much.

Painting is amazing because I have so much doubt and will totally hate what I'm doing and think I need to quit, but Cinnamon has said in so many of her videos that "it's just art" its not that big of a deal. "let it dry and repaint your mistakes" and I think that the doubt I have in myself when Im not liking how a painting is going, is really apart of the journey and always helps.
At the end of my paintings, I'm usually really proud of them and in love.

Of course, I've been crazy inspired and I honestly feel like I can take the skills I've learned in the last few weeks and paint something original. But for now I have so many tutorials available, and new ones coming every week, and with my very spare time to paint anyway, I'll be little busy before I ever do one of my own.
I have to paint at night when Luke is asleep or during his nap time, if I can get away. He's teething again so he's been very clingy and painting while he's awake is impossible right now.
So I can't do as much as I'd like to, but I have big hopes and lots of plans for the future.

Here are a few that I've done recently, from tutorials by The Art Sherpa.

Of course when I see these I immediately see the places that were troublesome or flawed. But I love them and every time I paint a new one they get better and better. 

More to come in the future. 

<3 p="">

Challenge No 3- Top 5 Skills

What are the top 5 skills you wish you had?

Haven't don't one of these in a while, so here we go....

I feel like I have a few pretty good skills. I kinda dip my feet in all the waters. I'm a pretty decent trumpet player, or I was. Haha. I like cooking and baking & I do that well. I'm a good wife. As in loyal, supportive, taking care of the house, getting things done, taking care of the baby. I could do better with all of the skills I have already but I'm still pretty awesome at them. I can sew, craft, do hair. I know a lot about movies and a little bit about photography. 

But some skills that I wish I had or that I wish were TOP for me, like I was super amazing at would be;

1. Singing. I think I sing pretty well already but I have days where I just can't at all. And sometimes I get too into my head and struggle with melodies if there is no music, so if I could perfect this and just sing every word I say, beautifully. Then I'd be happy. 

2. Drawing. I like to doodle. And I'm dipping more into my artistic side these days. I've been painting and even drawing a little. But it's something I hate to work at. It's not a full fledge ability I have.

(This list is actually harder than you think. Idk if it's because I can only choose 5 or if I'm confident in myself and the things I do. Lol) 

3. Being healthy- some kind of persistence with eating healthy and working out. I dabble in these too but I find myself saying, everyday, "I'm going to do better today" but then I don't. 

Honestly idk if that's a skill. But hey, sure it is. That's someone's job, and clearly some people master that!

4. Carpentry- I have a super fascination with wood working. I just haven't been able to get my hands into it much, because I don't have a garage or area to do it, and I don't have the equipment. But I really want to build things. Like super wanna build stuff! I need a work space, saw, & nail gun and I'd be in business! I just really don't EVER want splinters!!!

(Feel the pressure. Now it's time to choose one final one and go back and potentially have to delete something that's not as "Top" priority, if I think of more than one. This is really silly, honestly, to be worried about. But these are the kind of things that bother me when writing & with choices in life in general.)

5. I kind realized without thinking to much into it at the beginning of this post that I more chose trade skills instead of personality trait type of skills and that some people might have thought of that when they chose the challenge. So I'm gonna use number 5 to just list the personality type of traits I wish I had., or that were top of the list. 

-Budgeting. I do okay with budgeting. I always pay bills first, but I don't really have a savings account, so I wish I could do better with that. 

-Knowing other languages. I'm working on French, and I can understand some Spanish and Italian. But I wish I had them mastered and I wish I didn't have to work hard to know them! Lol

-Treating people, if we are in a fairytale world of lists'; I'd like to be a nurse or doctor to help treat and care for people,  but in real life it's just a lot of work to become one of those. And it's a lot of work to hold the jobs and they are very challenging jobs that I just don't really want. But I do like caring for people.... in a way. *complicated answer.

-Gardening. I like to. Ish. I wish I could master it. Or that it came easily to me. 

(It seems like most things that I've dabbled in or am interested in but not super amazing at is because I'm too lazy to master them. Or I don't care enough or have enough time to master them or put more into them. I wonder if anyone else who did this challenge feels the same way about the skills they wish they had. If we are all just a little lazy with the skills we wish we had or if they are things that seem to be out of our reach?) 

-Retaining info. It should come as no surprise to anyone, that if something isn't very important to us when we learn it, then we don't hold onto it. But there were tons of things I learned in school that I more like "memorized" for the upcoming test and didn't really learn. I wish I had more of a photographic memory because things that I don't care about just go out the window. Like I can't tell you much about space or the solar system. I know the planets. But not the order of them and not the things that make them unique or important. Lol just not in my brain at all. 

As I wrap this up, I feel kinda rushed while typing this particular post. I don't really care enough to save it and redo later so I'm just gonna post it. But I obviously kinda went my own way with the challenge. I chose life skills, & personality skills or work ethic skills. I think you can probably go any route or even combine them if you choose to write this challenge,!I just wanted to do more because I realized pretty late into the post that I could have been writing about something almost completely different. 

It was fun because it made you think about the things you are already pretty good at and things that you could probably work on. That's always fun.

Anywayz, haha anyone else remember writing that in notes to your friends back in the day? "Anywayz" this has been fun. 

Until next time, Ciao!

Goals

This is just going to be a quick post just to get my thoughts out and where I can see them.
I really want to make some life changes or just generally do better and it's so challenging as a new mother because I feel like I can't get anything done. What I would really like to see change in the next month is

1.Working out- I found a simple workout that will only take a few minutes everyday, I really want to get on top of this.

2. Eating better- been having a few digestive issues with the baby, he's starting to try foods but is still mostly exclusively breastfed, but overall eating better is better for all around health.

3. Getting on a schedule- maybe, not to sure I want a specific schedule because I like winging it with whatever the baby needs and if I miss things that I had scheduled that will drive me crazy, but I really want to try. I think it will help me be more productive around the house.

4. Paint a picture every other day- within reason if I have a chance, I'd really like to paint some daily, but its so hard to do it. I can only do it if the baby is sleeping and if he will let me leave him alone.

I also need to find some time where I can really meditate and just talk with God for more than just a few seconds out of the day. I need to spend less time on social media and more on my Bible Study.


I think ultimately after not really wanting to do it much, but I'm going to have to write out a schedule and try to stick to it.
If I come up with something successful or helpful, I'll blog about it.

-Coming soon, my new hobby, painting.

Challenge No 2- $10 billion

What would you do with 10 billion dollars?

Even thinking about this kinda overwhelms me. That's a lot of money. 

Hold on a sec while I get out my calculator! 

I've always wanted to make sure that if I ever got an insane amount of money, that my family would be taken care of and we would all be out of debt, but also that we wouldn't become crazy and just blow our money like nobody's business. 10 billion is a lot, but I know it could go quick. There's always more stuff to buy than you have. You can always find a way to spend money. 

I would make sure all of my family's debts are paid. 

I would prob figure out a way to give my immediate family money but in a way to make it last for them and them not blow it all at once. You can buy a mansion but the important question, is can you keep it? People seem to forget things like taxes and regular bills when they come into a lot of money. It's why most athletes don't stay rich for their whole lives. 

It important to remember that it's not your job to take care of your family either. 

I'd have to do a lot of thinking before I did anything but I would probably buy a franchise and give a couple of family members the opportunity to have a job that pays them well, (way more than minimum wage, it would be worth it) if they work for it. 

I'd buy a good bit of land and have it cleared and build a really nice house. Probably not a million dollar home but prob a 500,000 home. I'd want a nice yard with a pool, basket ball court, tennis court, a small gym. I'd want a small hut to turn into a salon. 

A giant garage for my husband. And a couple of cars for him. 

And all of those things can be done and very reasonably for under a million. Especially in NC. I wouldn't move out of state. Probably not even out of the county I live in. 

I think I wouldn't change very much. I'd still be very frugal. 

I probably would hire someone to make sure that I always had heathy foods in my home and that I worked out like I'm suppose to. 

I would set an allowance for my family of $50,000 a year or something around that. 

That's more than enough to have as spending money and to travel with and go on vacations and have fun. If you set a limit you won't act like the money is endless. 

I would def probably take a year and travel a little at the beginning but I still want a pretty normal life, so after the year we would be on a strict allowance.

I would pay my tithes to various churches or Christian organizations, that's 1 billion dollars so I wouldn't want it to go to just one place. 

The area we live in is nice, but there isn't a community center or a place for kids to hang out (other than the county park, which isn't exactly close) so I'd prob take $100,000 and donate to have a gym/ park built so there's a place for kids to be. This is kinda my husbands idea, we've talked about the community needing a place like that before. 

I'd buy a beach house. Again, not too expensive since I live in NC. I'd give my mom full access to go whenever she wants. She'd practically live there, I'm sure. 

I'd have a home built for my mom, my mother in law, & my grandparents. 

I think with all the other money and getting out of debt that I did for my siblings & family, that they can handle their own home and etc.  

I'd help with some family businesses. Investing and stuff so they can get on their feet. 

I wouldn't be a lending machine or anything but I'd want to help get the people who mean the most to me on their feet and going in a bright direction. 

Disclaimer* This isn't very well thought out. I'm writing as it comes to me. 

I'd have laser hair removal done for me and my husband. I never want to shave under my arms or my legs again, let's get that nipped in the bud! And Andre hates shaving, so it would be great for him too. 

Idk if it is because a lack of sleep, but I can't think of too much right now. 

Going back to earlier, having my dream house is pretty important and enough to keep me day dreaming forever. I could probably make a blog post about that in itself. 🤔

I think I'd definitely have some kind of bunker built on my land too. Maybe not just for an apocalypse, but I'm terrified of tornados, so if I know we are having a warning or watch, I won't be scared in a house anymore. Imma be under ground!! 

There's a few charities and things that I know I would want to help with and I'd probably immerse myself into, but I'd have to do a bit of research for that. 

$10 billion is a LOT of money but it's not enough to take care of the world and it's important to remember that, but I would want to help some. 

Welp, since I'm drawing a blank, but I'm know I'm not done. I may make a part 2 to this post or comment on it with my other splurging ideas. But for now, I'm gonna bounce. 

If you've never thought about how you would spend what seems like an endless amount of money, Do! It's a good idea to see if you'd be frugal or if you'd just run out of it before you can blink. 

I think it also shows your character a little bit. When I re read, it was important to me to make sure my family is taken care of. And it really is important to me. If I had an even smaller amount than $10 B, I'd still get my immediate family out of debt, and buy my mother's a house. After I buy my house, of course lol but def next. 

Anywayz, laterz guyz! 😘

Challenge No 1- Honesty & blogging

Hello again,

So, I was fumbling around on Pinteret and I came across a couple of journal/blog challenges. I've looked at things like this in the past and I think it's an excellent idea to get me back into writing more. I always have things I push into the back of my mind and I say, "well I plan to write about this or I'll get to it eventually," but obviously I never get around to it. So I'm gonna just try out a few of these and see how it goes. Usually if I have a lot of free time and I'm inspired I'll want to do more than one post, so I'm not going to make a goal to do one a day, or one daily, or anything like that. I just plan on going down the list and doing them when I feel inspired.

Don't know how much success this will ring true for but here goes, 

First question. 

What is the biggest barrier between you and full honesty in your journaling?

This is actually a small problem for me. I think. You see, I really want to write the same way I would talk. And that's a bit difficult sometimes, especially to make sure that it makes sense and somewhat follows most grammatical rules. 

I think what holds me back some, is even though I don't think anyone reads these, there's always the potential that someone could and you never know who that someone is. And maybe I don't want all of my business out for the public or on social media. I think I'm extremely honest and smart about what I put out there and what I keep private, so I don't know how much of a barrier there is, but I do think that there kinda is one. Or at least what I like to think of as smart choices in my writing. 

Another thing, is probably that I'm lazy. I could write more often, and if I did it would be more honest and probably less scrutiny over what I'm putting out there in my writing. 

Also there's always the idea that things like a journal will be read by someone important to you or by someone when you have died and you don't want to change how someone feels about you or you want them to think a certain way about you, so that has to do with how you filter yourself and how you write. 

Yea. 

I don't know what else to say about it. 

Lol

It's a little scatter brained but that's basically how I feel. 

Like I said, for the most part I do feel like I'm pretty honest and if there are any barriers it's just filtering and self preservation-ish. Haha 

Fin.

What's up, what's up, what's up?

Sooo I just wanted to make a post because it's been a while and I've been thinking about doing it lately. Plus!! I'm awake and nursing and stuck in a crazy position, so why not?! This particular blog site has a pretty decent app (for iPhone at least) and I can just write so much easier on my phone than popping out the laptop. 

So Lukey-man will be 9 months old this Saturday. I can't even believe it. You hear parents say it often but it really is totally surreal. It's going by so fast. I mean, it really does feel like just yesterday I brought him home from the hospital and now he has 4 teeth, and is pulling up on everything, trying to walk, and babbles all the time. He's not a newborn anymore. But I really still feel like I just had a baby. 

He had a fever today. All day. It started a little last night before bed. Sucks really bad because he's never been sick. He only had a fever once after shots. And he hasn't shown any symptoms of being sick. Just teething...which can cause the fever. And throughout the night he will cough like 4 times in a row and then go back to sleep. BUT it's not a sick cough. From what I researched, it could be the extra saliva from teething draining down his throat. It's crazy. And stressful. I barely slept last night because I was watching him and worried about him. And he practically slept all day. Had lots of long naps. We went to the movies to see Finding Dory. It was a long time coming. I've been waiting years for this movie. And it was pretty great. Luke was very interested in the trailers but fell asleep before the movie started and he probably only woke up when it ended because I moved him (I had to go pee so bad but couldn't risk waking him during the movie) 

Finding Dory was rather humerous. And really nostalgic in some parts. It was really beautiful like the first one. And I'm so glad I got to see it in the theaters. I never saw Finding Nemo in theaters and I bet it looked awesome, so I'm pleased I got to see this one. 

Great kids movie. Would recommend it to anyone. Seeing Dory as a baby was so fun. She was sweet. The movie made me want to cry in a few places. Especially as a mother now it made me think about a whole lot of other things so I tried not dwelling on it too much or I'd be sobbing. Lol 

But yea, really great. Can't wait to buy it. Maybe I'll try to make Luke watch that all the time instead of Toy Story. 

Luke's not very interested in television. He glances at it occasionally but not much. BUT I put Toy Story on the iPad for him to try to make car rides easier. Because he cries in his seat a lot and my family lives about an hour away. So often we would travel home at night and a few times it's been just he and I ,and he cries and it's a really rough trip home. Especially considering I'm driving through the country and can't stop anywhere in the dark and he's just so upset. So the iPad works. I prop it up at the end of his carseat and he watches it til he falls asleep. Sometimes he doesn't fall asleep  at all. Lol

But he LOVES Toy Story. He smiles at it. It's adorable! It's definitely been a life saver. He would even cry when he first got put into the car seat so I'll set it up before sitting him in it now and he's happy. He loves it so much. 

I'll probably definitely be getting him a Woody and Buzz for his birthday. 

We considered doing a Toy Story theme for his first birthday but since it's so soon and he will be so young I want to save that for when he's a little older and can enjoy it more. 

I'm planning on doing base ball themed. I already got a round cake plate to make an actual baseball shape. I'm so excited. Have the whole thing pretty much planned minus buying everything. I wanted to go simple and easy but still nice. And not breaking the bank! 

I plan to blog and share pics of it whenever that happens. 

But yea just a few random thoughts from me at 5 in the morning. So ta-ta for now 

Forgiveness

What a powerful quote? I mean...."dang, that's deep!" I was feeling motivated to write about forgiveness after my last post. I should have, because I'm not as inspired right now but I didn't have time.

I found a few good quotes on forgiveness and I feel like I probably could have just kept finding good ones online, but I stopped myself.
It feels good to forgive. It's REALLY hard to do so, but if you've ever forgiven anyone that really hurt you, it's like a huge weight off your chest. Like....you really feel physically lighter, and happier.
Because to love is what is normal and right, hate is such an ugly thing.
I am SO good at holding grudges. I'm like an elephant too, I never forget how it felt when someone made me feel bad. I always remember those. But it's just not the way we should live our lives.

With all of this forgiveness in mind, I have a few people from my life who I cut out or want to avoid at all cost because I hate them. I'm struggling because I'm trying to figure out if I want to let them back in.
I understand that forgiveness doesn't mean I have to be your friend. And you don't have to have someone in your life who was toxic. There are 3 girls in particular who I've been thinking about reconnecting with and I don't know....
I just don't know.

Sigh, I was hoping that with a little reading of forgiveness and research I would come to my answer.
I'd hate to open old wounds. And I feel like being friends with some of these people would be like picking at the scab....however, if the wound has healed.....there is no scab? Just a scar? Maybe no scar?

That's my crazy optimism talking....don't mind me. lol

But it helps to write out your thoughts sometimes and really see a situation from lots of different angles.

So.....

I always try to tackle tough situations with the "What Would Jesus Do?" approach. I mean, those things they taught us as kids are REALLY good lessons. If adults would apply them more often, the world might not be such a horrible place. God will guide you through ANYthing. 

So with saying that, I should forgive all of those people who have done me wrong and that leads to

Wether you want those people in your life or not, you always have this negative void and energy when you think about them. Let it go so you are at peace. If they don't forgive you in return....

it's on them. At least you did what you are suppose to do.

I don't have much more to say right now, I'm running low on gas tonight. Even though I'm sure I do have more to say.

For now, I don't know what I'm going to do about the past relationships. Forgive and move on without contact or try to reach out....

Only time will tell.

Tata for now

*Sorry for such a scattered post. My brain is feeling like a fried egg.

Favorite phrases

The end of my last blog post made me want to do a post about my favorite quotes and phrases. Some of these things I think about daily and they help shape who I am.
Enjoy....


The world's a playground, you know that when you are young but somewhere along growing up you seem to forget it.


May your organs fail you before your dreams do!


Never give up on anything you can't go a day without thinking about!


When you feel like you are falling to the bottom, Remember...God will either catch you or teach you how to fly.


Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT


Life is short, Break the rules, Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly, Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably, And never regret anything that made you smile.

Do not give up or quit on the hardest day of something
 make it through the day and if you still want to quit, quit tomorrow

Don't react to something that made you mad right away, sleep on it and come back tomorrow

 if you're still mad it might be within good reason and then a reaction may be warranted, its tough to not respond sometimes when you are angry, but you have to choose your battles. Make sure it's really worth it.

Let's talk "About Me"

I was thinking about updating my about me. But our lives are ever changing and I just decided to make a post about it instead. 

So, here goes.......

I'm a breastfeeding, cosleeping, cobathing, God fearing mommy. All of those things are some of the most rewarding things of my life and I've only been at if for 5 months. I'm a wife to my best friend and high school sweet heart. 

I play trumpet, & I do hair. I'm extremely frugal and plan everything like crazy. Dabble in photography a little. 

I love watching movies and reading. I enjoy sewing and crafting. If I can make it, I do (Pinterest is one of my favorite website of all time, contributing to my creative thinking). I enjoy cosplaying when I have time. 

I love being a home maker, I love cooking. I like puzzles. Being a mom is my most favorite job that I've ever had.

I love my family and I want the best for everyone in the world. I try hard to be a better person every day. I want to be the best mother and wife I can for my family. 

I'm sometimes a procrastinator, and lazy, and judgmental, but I also always try to look at the full picture and both sides of the story. 

I've been known to be impatient but it's definitely getting better with age. I'm a night owl and I love sleeping and taking naps, most of my inspiration comes in the middle of the night when I should be sleeping and so I'll sleep in late, but I've come to realize that life is short and goes by so fast, you should just get up in the morning....you could be missing out on a wonderful day and new memories. *but I still like sleeping! 

I hate cigarettes and drugs, things that people know are bad for them but they do anyway. I hate racism and abortion. I believe your relationship with God makes you a better person and the world needs him. The challenges our society is facing today is heartbreaking and terrifying to know your child will grow up in this world. Things that are completely inhuman are becoming "cool". With all the amazing technological advances of today I feel like we still take a couple of steps backwards. Morality is becoming a thing of the past. As cliche as it sounds, I pray for world peace, but I'm not too naive to understand reality. I'm probably equally optimistic and realistic. 

I know the world can be better and I'm on the side trying to contribute and believing in the good of people. 

But I'm still going to eat meat! Lol

I don't believe in depriving yourself of foods you like (eat the fricken' cake....life is short) but I do believe that you can be smart and not be glutinous. Everything in moderation.

I think it's important to stand back and evaluate yourself and your beliefs and values sometimes. It helps you see what you need to work on and it can boost your self esteem to see what you're really great at. Also, it amazes me that we change so much in life. Our passions and struggles change.  At any time you can probably look back and say, "Wow, I didn't think this is where I'd be a few years ago." And sometimes that's a great thing. 

I want to do everything and nothing at the same time. 

I'll wrap up with some of my favorite phrases or some food for thought. 

Something that's helped me make it through is "to not give up on the hardest day of something" 

It applies to so much on life. 

"Don't react to something that made you mad right away, sleep on it and come back tomorrow" 

if you're still mad it might be within good reason and then a reaction may be warranted. 

Welp, that's all for now.  <3 p="">XOXO

Catching up

Hello, hello.

I just wanted to stop in and say a few things. I've been meaning to get on here for a few weeks now. It's been really hard and a really busy time in life right now. 

Luke needs a lot of attention constantly. He's been teething since he was about 2 months old, and he's 5 and 1/2 now. But sometimes he has really rough patches and nothing helps relieve the pain, he just wants to be held by mommy, so that's mostly what we've been going through lately. Just taking it one day at a time. 

Sooooo along with that means I also haven't been able to get much done. I was going to start doing some basic working out, and every day I think I'll get a few minutes to do it, but it's just not happening.

I barely am able to cook every day. I have been managing to get a few things done, I can't do as much as I use to but I find that I do get to clean a little here and there. Mostly I keep our room straightened up and the dirty clothes in the correct laundry baskets. Getting around to washing them is another story, but we do try to keep our mess somewhat organized. lol

Organized chaos= my house.

It was really stressing me out in the beginning of being a mom, that I couldn't keep my house the way I wanted to. But it's something I'm just having to come to terms with. I understand that when we look back on this time, I'm not going to remember how clean the house was but I will remember the way he smiles at me when I'm playing with him. So as long as it doesn't turn into a dump I think we are doing alright. 

And I guess it's really not that bad, I just like for it to be clean.

Anyway, in other news.....My sweet boy has learned to roll over from back to tummy. AND he does it non stop! As soon as I lay him down somewhere, he rolls over. He's SO fast. He can't roll back onto his back yet, he hasn't figured that out, so he gets frustrated after a while because he's tired of holding himself up. So I'll flip him over and within seconds he's back on his tummy! lol

He doesn't lay his head down when he's on his tummy, he's never liked that. So it was good for me when he was younger, one less risk for SIDS, but bad-ish, now because he doesn't know how to relax. lol

He's so sweet! He's my whole world.

I've been doing a little research online, reading blogs and watching youtube videos of people teaching their babies how to swim, so I hope we can get on that soon. I've been debating on taking some lessons this summer. It's about to be warm soon, I mean this week is going to be in the 70's almost every day. SOOOOOO excited about it!!!

So I think by the time he is 6 months old it will be getting good into spring. I've already been trying to get him use to the water when we take baths. He's totally relaxed and I've been teaching him to be calm when he lays back, so he can learn how to float. I read that you can teach them to hold their breath when you run water over their face, so they know to hold their breath when the face is put in water, so tonight, for the first time I tried an exercise a few times in the bathtub. 

I counted to three and then would blow in his face, when you blow in their face they tend to hold their breath, and then I would pour a little water over his head to run into his face. We did it a few times and it went great, so I think I'll keep it up.

I don't want my baby scared of water, and the earlier you teach them the less scared they will be and the safer it is!!

Oh, update on the bible challenge. Not to my surprise, I've been kind of lazy. I probably haven't read it in over a week, if not longer. I was doing really good for a while, so I have to get back on that. The website I was using has an app and the app is great! I have it notify me every day, and I can read it right there on the app and update my progress. It really doesn't take any time at all, so I need to be doing it. I've just been so busy doing other things, and making lame excuses not to.

I'll have to do better!

Anyway, lots of love for now, I  guess I need to go. Hopefully I'll be back on sooner than later. Ciao!

In the Beginning

I blogged just a little bit ago about how I would like to start doing a Bible study. I did a few quick searches online and found an amazing plan

The website is called http://www.biblestudytools.com
and it is amazing!  There are many different study plans to choose from, and you choose the one that's right for you and it's all set out to show you your schedule and you can make notes while you are reading and their's just a ton of information on the website.
I'm really excited about it.
I created an account and I went ahead and read the first day.
My plan is set up to read the bible in one year. I hope I am successful! The first day wasn't bad at all
I read, Luke 6:1-26; Genesis 3-5; Psalm 2
And they had it all set out to go in that order and when I was done, I just clicked that I had read it and was all done.

I'm not doing anything else so far, just going to read and write about it if I feel moved to do so.
I'm excited to see what doors will open for me.

I need to catch some Zzz's now, until next time! =)

Late night or early morning

So I've been awake since about 3:30, browsing online like always and on my favorite website...Pinterest. lol

I'm thinking about doing an online bible study. I really want to do something. I think it will be nice to try and fit that in every day and even to do it on here. Write thoughts and etc.
I know I'm not good at committing to things like that so we shall see.

I don't go to a church right now. I have about a million excuses why and my husband has been wanting for me to go to a new one he visited recently. And I would like to go too. I know the community is great.
I'm just scared of how Luke will be. He's been teething lately and that makes him super fussy and I can't send him to the nursery because I exclusively breastfeed him and he can't take a bottle on his own.
Maybe if we get the bottle situation taken care of we can try to go to a service.
I just have a mental block for some reason about it and I've been praying about it so....we shall see what happens.

It's important to me for Luke to be surrounded by people who love the Lord and are growing in him so I really need to get my butt in gear.

Anyway, that's all for now.
Much love
XXOO

Who made my clothes?

So I just finished watching a documentary on Netflix called, "The True Cost" and  so many things were revealed to me that I don't think I've really processed it all.
I was in a documentary watching type of mood and it was something that came up after I watched something else *which was also eyeopening and I'll probably write about later.
The description was, "the links between consumer pressure for low-cost high fashion and the meager existence of the sweatshop workers who produce those goods are explored"
now that may not sound very interesting, but I also got to see the little preview pics that scroll by when you are selecting something to watch on Netflix and I had just finished watching something else that made me have lots of feels, so I turned it on. 
My brain is spinning so much, I hope I get to write out everything I'm feeling. I don't want this to turn into a research paper, although it easily could. 

I recommend EVERYONE to watch this documentary. At the very least it will make you feel so blessed to live the lifestyle you do. I want to make sure I thank God every day that I live in America. Things are so hard on the rest of the world and we take almost everything for granted over here.
Something as simple as your clothes..... It's very important to you what you wear. You want to look nice, you want to be comfortable, and sometimes you want people to see how well you are doing in life by the brands you are wearing. It's all about how you will be perceived. 
Did you know next to oil, the making of clothing is the 2nd most contaminating thing on the planet? CRAZY, I had no idea!  You can see quite a bit of it in the documentary. 

It's so important to look at the big picture. From the seeds that are harvested to make the cotton, and the pesticides sprayed on the seeds, how the pesticide effects the ground and the community that lives around it, to the crazy prices that people pay and the war for the companies to get the products for the best bargain, then the countries and companies that major factories select to develop clothing, how the workers are treated and the environment they live in, the struggles in their life, and then at the end of it all how these companies feel like they HAVE to do better every season. Make more money than last time, every time. The documentary touches base on all of these things. It really puts into perspective, who made my clothes? Who actually made it, what was the journey it took into being developed and look at how many clothes you have. 

I'm just as guilty as the next person of buying something that I will only wear once or maybe never wear at all. In my defense and apart of my amazing frugality, I almost ALWAYS buy things on sale. I rarely every buy something that's full price. The first place I go in any store is to the clearance rack. But I have many things that I simply haven't worn before. It didn't fit right or look right. I rarely throw anything away. I like to give it family member or I drop clothes in a drop box once a year when I clean up my closet. But this film really brought to my attention a lot of things I just hadn't even thought of before. 

Of course we have special occasion events and I won't put that out of my life totally but I will not buy something that I don't think I'm going to wear 30 times ever again. You don't have to look like a homeless person to make sure you are buying and wearing your clothes to their value.

It all starts with the consumer, or the customer. I'm not someone who has to hit the sales every single week or buying the latest clothes but it is important wether you are one of those people or not. 

I'm not saying I think we should stop buying clothes, because the people do need jobs, but we need to be smarter about our buying. For the world and for the people in it. We don't need so much. Not something that's going to end up at a dump and just creating so much toxicity. 

The documentary showed a woman who was a factory worker and had a daughter who had to live far away from her and with her family, because the mother couldn't afford to have her and she was trying her best be able to pay for school for her child so she can have a better life than what her mother has. 

My heart aches for that woman. She's trying so hard for her child to have a good life but she rarely gets to see her. 

I'm over here freaking out about leaving Luke to go to the grocery store alone. I can't imagine being away from my child. I'm so blessed, and I'm so sad for her. And for all of the people who have to send their child somewhere else so they can make a living. It's very sad.

The working condition of people in other countries is just sad. The living conditions are sad. It's something we know. And if you don't know, travel or simply watch a documentary. *I saw some pretty sad living conditions when I went on a cruise to Jamaica and it's not nearly as bad there as it is in Bangladesh. But his woman gets paid $40 a week. Her salary is $160 a month, US dollars equivalent. She's barely making it. 

The major fashion companies don't hire these people, they talk about it in the documentary. But they do pay a certain amount to the business for the products and instead of haggling to get the cheapest business to make your clothing they should do something else. A change has to be made. 

They pay $0.30 for a dress that they sell for $40. These companies are billionaires. It won't make much of a difference to pay a little more for the product, then the sweatshops can be in better conditions, the workers can get paid a little better. It's baby steps but again it starts with the consumer. We don't need them cranking out as many clothes as they are as fast as they are when it all winds up in a landfill somewhere. We don't need to be treating our ground like its a factory. 

Simply, don't be wasteful and be mindful of the world. Don't take anything for granted. 

I don't want to try to educate anyone on the film or the problems at hand. Watching it and going to the films website will do that for me. 

I signed a petition on the website. It simply wanted first and last name, and email. We all have junk emails if you don't want to be bothered by it, I signed for my junk email and my primary email. I plan to follow this. 

They hope to see a change by 2020. 

I urge you to go watch the documentary if you haven't. 

I'll link the website as well. You can get a ton of information. If you don't do anymore research than going to the website I strongly suggest you do so. 

I doubt anyone could watch this and not want to make some kind of change.

http://truecostmovie.com

http://fashionrevolution.org

20 Facts about me

Let's see if I can do this. 20 sounds like a small number but I know it can be harder than you think.

1. I am a musician. And a pretty good one. I hate telling people who don't know, because I just don't like bragging. But I'm a really good trumpet player.

2. I went to school for it. I didn't finish school for it. It was a difficult time in my life and I wasn't as prepared as I needed to be when I started college. Ironically, today in fact, I was talking to a friend's nephew who just started playing trumpet.  And he is really passionate about it but lacks drive because he doesn't have a very good teacher. It's VERY important to have someone encouraging you when you start something new, like playing an instrument, and I was SO excited about it, I just had so many tips and ways that I thought I could help him. It would be nice in a way to be a band director to young children, but I don't think I'll ever go back to school for it.

3. I like to be the VERY best at almost everything I do. I procrastinate a lot, which hinders some things. But it's important to me to be the best wife I can. I try to make my husband happy. I like to cook, and try new foods, and plan. I'm very frugal with money. I always craft almost anything I can.
I like to give advice to my family, especially my sister, and be there for her always. I try to prepare her for anything I think will come her way. I had to be the very best musician when I was in school. I was always first chair in trumpet. And when I went to college, as a freshman I took second chair over quite a few upper class-man. I constantly do research and read blogs to be prepared and be the best wife and mother I can. I've ALWAYS climbed the ladder at whatever job I worked. I take a LOT of responsibilities, no matter where I work. I worked for Apple, as a technical advisor at a call center and I stayed number one on my teams, until I moved up to be a Senior tier 2 advisor and account and security specialist within 6 months, and I was working to being a supervisor when I left the job. I like to climb ladders with things I do. I don't want to just be a jack of all trades, I want to be a master-of-all-trades.

4. I sew. I've made quite a few costumes for my cosplays and my husband's cosplays. I've made pillows, blankets, clothes, repaired clothes and ripped seams, purses, hand warmers, children's play mats...just to name a few.  I hand sew and use a sewing machine. I hand sew for years before ever getting a sewing machine.

5. I also cross stitch. I'm currently working on a super cute cross stitch project that I'm going to frame, it has Luke's birth information and a cute baby green lantern cartoon. It's taking a lot longer than normal, because with a teething 3 month old, you don't get much done.

6. One of my goals for 2016 is to learn how to crochet. Its the only thing not in my arsenal with that department. I ordered an awesome crochet needle set off Amazon, back in November, but the seller decided to leave the platform and didn't go through with any of their orders and I just found this out 2 days ago....waited a REALLY long time to find that out. So now I have to order a set from someone else, and when it comes in I will get busy with that!

7. I've been with my husband for 11 years and 3 months. In a couple of weeks we will celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary, but who counts that when you had so many years under your belt before that came along. haha

8. We celebrate our dating anniversary AND our wedding anniversary. One is in February and the other in October, so there's plenty of time in between. I wanted to get married on our dating anniversary but it just wasn't coming around to being on a weekend day and so we got married on the date that he proposed to me on.....so, kinda still an anniversary. lol And I'm sure we will always celebrate both. Both dates mean a lot to us.

9. I like to cook. I touched on this earlier but I'll elaborate, I really like meal prepping and when I have time I like taking a couple of hours to make delicious meals. I can seriously be the ultimate house wife. It's not all I want to do in life, but I really do pride myself in becoming and being an amazing mother and wife.

10. I hate HATE hate to not have nail polish on my toes. I don't really like not having it on my fingers either, but it's been like four months because I haven't had time to paint my finger nails AND let them dry since I had the baby. When Luke was born, I needed to do my toenails but didn't get a chance so I took off the polish I had on a few days after he was born and I didn't repaint them. It was AWFUL to me. I actually went a little over a month before I turbo painted them in the bathroom, but for that month I wore socks often. I don't think I have ugly feet, I just don't like how...plain it looks without the polish. It really enhances how beautiful my feet look. lol....might sound crazy and superficial but it's one of those things. When I go on vacation I ALWAYS take the polish with me, and usually I always have a dark color in my purse that I can use to cover any color, just in case it chips or something.

11. I LOVE to binge watch tv shows. I'm sure most people do, but I was doing it long before netflix and hulu became a thing. I will wait until series finish before I start watching them because I know I HATE waiting and cliff hangers are a must in television...it's how they get you back next week. I'm always scared I'm going to die in the middle of a series and never know how something finished....I know that's awful lol but it's a true thought.
I haven't watched any of The Walking Dead, because I know I will get hooked. I watched Sex and The City when the first movie came out. I bought a deluxe edition and enjoyed about a month of tv for MANY hours every day. I began True Blood the last season it had. So I had to start waiting weekly which sucked!

12. I do watch some tv shows weekly. I'm caught up in some reality series that you have to stick to weekly or seasonly (like, Dancing With The Stars)

13. I love to sleep. Lots of naps or even for like 12 hours at the time. I do nap a lot with the baby, which is nice...but also kinda required because he falls asleep by eating and if I try to sneak away he wakes up. Every. Single. Time.

14. I like to stay up through out the night. I'd rather be awake at night than during the day, most of the time. But Even with this and with sleeping a lot, I can sleep for only 4 hours or even forego sleep if I have to when I have to get something done.

15. I usually NEVER get any sleep the night before something big. It's a real problem. I've never had a "good nights rest" before an event. Tests, auditions, job interviews, doctors appointments, my wedding day, the birth of my son, moving, going on vacation, Christmas (duh)....things like this...I never get any sleep. I'm always too anxious.
I will try to stay up all night two days before or try to wear myself out and go to bed early, but it always just turns into a nap and then I'm up all night.
A slight headache in the morning, super sensitive to the sun, and a stomach full of butterflies.
It's tolerable though. I will just get good sleep the next night. It's something I've always known I do and I've come to terms with it the last few years so I'm never overly exhausted when it happens. I make it through just fine.

16. I read a lot. I'm always reading a book or series. There's never a time when I've finished a book and haven't started another. I always have a list of books to read.

17. I enjoy when books are made into movies. But not into tv shows.....Ain't nobody got time for that.
Of course I have lots of issues with things that are missing or left out, but I still like when you get to watch something you've had play out in your mind.

18. I HAVE to read before going to sleep. It's VERY rare that I don't read before sleeping. It's not always a novel, sometimes it's blogs or articles online, but it's the last thing I do before closing my eyes. I have a mental block. I can't push past it. Even when my eyes are super heavy...and sometimes it will just be a paragraph before I fall asleep, but I have to attempt it!

19. I've always lived in the future....looking forward to the things to come, until now. Now that I have Luke, I try to really live in the now and enjoy him. He changes SO much every single day and I don't want to miss it. In the past it was always...until I can move out and be on my own....and then until I get married or finish school or get a better job. I still look forward to the future, but I never really enjoyed life the way I should have because I was too focused on tomorrow. And like the old song goes, tomorrow never comes. There is only right now.



I made it! Whew....not that hard, I could probably come up with a few more. haha

20. I spent way too much time trying to thing of a 20th thing, it's like....hmm? What's the best thing for last or something super important I won't want to have forgotten? And I just don't know.

I have a light brownish eyes with a few blue spots and my father had blue eyes with brownish spots in the exact same places. I also have a small mole/freckle on my collar bone that my mother, grandmother, and great grandmother all have/had in the exact same place. It's pretty cool, I think.



Until next time,
XXOOXO

Writing Prompts

So I was in Barnes & Noble a little over a week ago, and I saw a little journal that was full of writing prompts. It was rather small, but there was 30, I think, different topics at the top of each page, and I just thought it was a super neat idea.
They had creative topics and fantasy topics, there was even a journal for drawing. Which is awesome but I'm a doodler....not a drawer so...skip that.
I didn't want to buy the book because it was over priced for a small journal and I tend to just go on and on when I'm writing anyway. PLUS, why buy that, when I can look online for awesome writing prompts and do it on here for free??
Blogging is just online journaling anyway! With the hopes that online, it will never get lost...

I'm excited about it, I really like writing out my thoughts on here and I think it would be really fun.
So I went to my favorite website, Pinterest =) and pulled some "blogging" writing prompts.
I don't want to write creative stories. I think those are fun to think about sometimes, but all the small details that really make a story good, stress me out to come up with, and I'm just not interested in writing fantasy.
When I was young in school, they would give us writing prompts that were creative, I loved it. And I know the more you write the better you get at it but....meh, I just don't want to waste my time on it.

So, I'm not going to set a challenge to write one daily or anything. I saw plenty of pages with those, and that's awesome. But I have a teething *almost 4 month old and if I tried to set a goal like that, it would just stress me out and upset me that I didn't get it done on some days.
I mean...I don't even get to cook dinner every day or even wash my face daily so....yea. Not gonna set myself up for failure.

If they are short, I may post multiple at once. I'm excited to get started.

**Please don't judge how awful some of the writing is. I have a lack of sleep and dealing with teething has been SO exhausting. I only get "me time" at night time when he is sleeping so that's why I'm not sleeping, and I also post things in the middle of the night.

Teething Woes

Well night time blogging definitely seems to be my thing. 

To be honest, as a new mom it's the only free time I get. I look forward to bed time because the house is quiet and I can do all the things I want to online. 

I surf the web, plan grocery lists, read, surf Pinterest, social media, all that fun stuff without interruptions (well, maybe some if the baby wakes up) but for the most part I love it. I've always loved being up in the middle of the night. Ive always been a "night owl". And although I can't leave my bed, because the baby will wake up. I still like being up at night. 

We've been struggling with teething lately. It's so hard. I'm sure it is hard on everyone. It's one of those things you sigh about. It just sucks so much to have a young baby going through it. 

When people tell me their child didn't start until after 6 months, I roll my eyes at them. Lol. Luke started at about 2.5 months and it has been awful. 

We had one day where I noticed we hadn't had any melt downs and I treated it like you do when you have a really negative thought that you're ashamed of and you push it out of your head or try to forget about it, I kept thinking, "don't think about! Don't think about it, you'll jynx the situation and it will turn onto one of those hours and hours battles." 

At the end of the day, when I knew he was asleep for the night Andre and I both  mentioned it. But it's only happened once. 

That was a great day. Haha 

Recently, we left my grandmas on Christmas night, who lives over an hour away, and barely got off the road she lives on when it turned into one of the worst nights we had. We had to pull over at a truck stop and my husband had to walk around outside with him for about thirty minutes just to get him to stop crying. After I tried many many times to shh him and make him happy, and nurse him in the car. Nothing worked. He cried so hard that night. 

What happens with Luke is he starts fussing and chewing on things and then it turns into yelling crying. He gets hungry but won't eat because breastfeeding seems to hurt or he has no interest in latching on when the teething is happening. So for hours he will be upset and then he gets hungry but won't eat and that makes him even more upset, and when Luke cries he sweats, a lot! So it's a whole fiasco every time. 

As far as remedies go, we've tried everything. Some things work some times and sometimes nothing works. 

I will put orajel on his gums and if he needs to sleep, which usually he does. The teething happens around nap times and is awful at night, sometimes I will give him Hyland's teething tablets. He usually always wants to be walked around. He doesn't want you to sit and hold him or rock him. He wants to be up. And he will chew on his dad's shoulder as he walks him around the kitchen. 

Teething toys are a distraction for ten minutes at the most. He likes if they are frozen compared to the ones that aren't but it doesn't help much. I think it hurts while he is chewing on them and he wants to keep chewing but it makes him cry. His dentist recommended the vibration teethers. He swears by them and everyone who worked in office agreed. They gave us one to take home and Luke does love that one the most. But still, it only last for a short time. 

Usually the pills kick in and he will eat to fall asleep. It's so rough though. 

I can't wait until teething is over. 

Teething is one of the only things that makes me want to not have another baby. 

Since he was born I knew I wanted to have more. Even though my labor was terrifying and the thought of ANY thing going wrong scares me, I still want more children. But this has been SUPER tough. 

I told a friend's mom recently that Luke has been teething and that's been difficult, and she just looked at me and said "I'm sorry" and she genuinely meant it, and then she followed with "that's all I can tell you. It's one of those things you have to go through and nothing helps really."  

Sigh

At least she was honest with me. Haha. 

People are always quick to tell you what to do instead of what you have been doing, and it never hurts to try different things, everyone is different so you have to try different things to find out what works for you. I just really appreciated her honesty, because that's how I've been feeling. We get him through the freak out spells. But they suck and I know they will come again, whenever he has finally calmed down, and all I can do it wait for those little buggers to pop through. And when they do I will have to start dealing with making sure he doesn't bite while breastfeeding so I'm trying to be patient about it. Lol. 

Thank God for Pinterest though, right? So many amazing tips without having the older generation who act all judgemental try to tell you what you "need" to do. 

Anyway, I guess I better go get those sweet snuggles from my little man. 

Until next one, XOXO

New Mom worry-woes

Happy New Year!!

I haven't been on since last year!!

I love those cheesy jokes, telling my mom I'll see her next year on December 31st and then the next time I see her I say "gosh, I haven't seen you since last year"

It's so cheesy but Idc, I love it. 

Anyway I wanted to make a quick post to say, do you ever stop checking their breathing? 

Luke is a little over three months old and I check his breathing a million times a day. Lol 

I definitely do it less than I use to but it's still a million in comparison to the 2 million times before. 

It's so funny because I'll stare at him sometimes instead of touching him to check, and his breaths are so shallow! You have to stare hard to see it. But I'll stare so hard and focus so hard on the chest that I'll see his finger twitch and it's like that isn't enough. Lol I still wait for the breath. Totally dumb. But I was watching for the breath and didn't think about the finger twitch. Haha 

It drives me crazy. As a new mom I'm scared constantly of some unknown random awful thing happening to him. It's comforting to have him close. 

My husband's birthday is coming soon and then immediately after we have our wedding anniversary and Valentine's Day. 

And we have never left Luke to go out. I've never been away from him at all. I've taken a shower or two and a nap for like an hour while he was with dad in the living room, but never left him with anyone. 

So I was thinking for our anniversary I would plan to go to dinner with Andre. Not be gone long because I'm sure I wouldn't be able to take it and Luke would be about 4 and a half months old. But it's still super terrifying to think about. 

He had a tongue tie and we got that clipped recently, it was causing some problems. Luke is exclusively breast fed. But when I've tried to pump and give him a bottle he can't suck on a bottle so this tongue tie business has been difficult but it should be better. 

I haven't tried a bottle yet but if he can take the bottle then I'll make sure he's good at it before I ever try to leave him with anyone. And if he isn't then I'll take him out with us. It doesn't bother me at all to have him go out with us. I just thought it might seem nice to go out alone. 

But it terrifies me to my core. 

Not only am I worried about something happening to him but what if whoever keeps him doesn't abide by my wishes or if something bad happens while he is with them. 

I'm sure these are what all moms think the first time they leave them and I know it's even harder for moms that work. I bow down to those ladies. I just can't imagine leaving him. 

I would definitely let him stay with one of our moms the first time. And they all have three to four kids but I still know that I do things with Luke that they don't and it makes me worry. He also never stays asleep for a nap when I'm not with him so that is just another thing that worries me about him staying with someone else. 

Anyway I guess I can stop talking about my worry woes. It's just the little things that keep rolling around in my head. 

We will see what happens.